Let's Talk About Kids
Yep it’s time to discuss one of the most touchy subjects when it comes to the wedding guest list…..kids.
Who you choose to invite to your wedding is 100% totally, completely up to you and your fiancé. You should not feel bad about choosing whether or not to include children. It is based on your preference and that alone. However, be prepared for what’s to come depending on which decision you make. There’s always only two sides to this: the one who believes kids will add a youthful and fun element to their wedding, and the one who thinks it would turn into a total disaster. We are going to give you advice for both. It is definitely a sensitive topic, but there are ways to hand it in a considerate way.
Let’s begin with if you choose to say YES to having kids at your wedding…
There’s much more you have to think about when inviting kids than simply putting “and family” on the invite. There are things you should consider having at your wedding that would help the kids and their parents have the best experience possible.
Decide Who is Included
After making the decision to include kids on your guest list, you then need to think about whether this means that every guest is allowed to bring their kids, or if you want to keep it those of family and close friends. Of course, it is completely based on preference, and if your guest list consists mostly of families or not. It is perfectly fine to only choose to allow certain children, however, if that’s the case, you will need to communicate that as clearly and nicely as possible.
If you want to include all kids, the more the merrier, then be sure to include “and family” on the invitations so that they know that their kids are welcome. However, if you are limiting it to just those of close family and friends, then exclude that from the invitations, and make sure to communicate to those parents who would assume that they can bring their kids.
Managing the Kids
You want to make sure all your bases are covered when it comes to making sure that the kids are taken care of and are in the right spot. If possible, you will want to sit the kids at the tables with their parents or close by. Although an all kids table sounds ideal, an unsupervised group of kids has a high chance of getting out of hand. If you choose to do that, then hire a chaperone to make bathroom trips, make sure no one gets hurt or makes a mess.
Entertainment
The most important part of making sure the kids have fun but are under control is making sure to have ENTERTAINMENT. This will lift some stress off of the parents, as well as keep the kids occupied while important moments are going on like toasts, first dances etc. Kids have short attention spans, so make sure to have games, arts and crafts and fun food. A cute activity book with crayons or pencils, a tic tac toe game, and cute finger foods would definitely keep them busy.
Let’s move on for those who want an “adult-only” wedding…
The guest list is completely up to you, but not everyone will see it that way. Not everyone will be happy with your decision, but the best solution is to just be honest, and know the right etiquette to avoid hurting any feelings.
Make it Known from the Start
Start with the invitations. That is going to be the very first opportunity to get the message to your guests that you do not wish for kids to be included. DO NOT write “Adults Only” on the invitations. That will come across as impolite and inconsiderate, and be prepared for issues right off the bat. The best way to be subtle yet clear about inviting adults only, is to address the invite to the specific names of those you are invited, leaving out any terms of family or something that may give them an idea that kids are welcome. You can even goes as far as to write their names on the response cards with the only option to check “will attend” or “will not attend”.
Mention it on your Wedding Website
The website is the place to include all of the details about your wedding that you would not put on the invitation. That way you can spell it out without feeling as though you are targeting certain people on individual invites. It is also a nice gesture to include babysitting options in the area, especially for those coming from out of town. That is a good way of showing you care, but are staying strong about not making exceptions for certain people.
Be Prepared for Pushback
You can’t please everybody, but all you can do is explain your reasoning as best as you can and try to be accommodating. Having a place for the children to go during your wedding where they are being taken care of by a babysitter or trusted guardian is a super nice gesture that may ease some of the complaints. However, at the end of the day it is your wedding, and you can’t let anything get in the way of enjoying it.